From Conflict to Clarity: How I use ChatGPT and Non-violent Communication to Resolve my Family Tensions

If you have ever felt anger overwhelm you in a moment of conflict, here is how Non-violent Communication and ChatGPT helped me find a path to clarity, understanding and reconnection.

We had a conflict

It was a night filled with anticipation as I published my latest writing. After spending 2 hours crafting and editing, I was eager to see how my friends and family would react.

At first, the responses were positive! My mom and my friends read the post multiple times and expressed their love for it. However, my excitement quickly turned into frustration when a comment was posted: "don't understand!", and it was from my sister.

At that moment, I felt a surge of anger.

“Why would she say that? We are family and I really need her support. Why isn’t she supporting me as she usually does? It felt as if she was dismissing my experience and attacking me. Or... maybe my writing is really bad.

Please take note of this, as changing this expression can shift your perspective on the event and lead to a clearer understanding. I will share my reflections below.

Then, a calm thought broke through. I took a deep breath. “She is my sister, and we should be interdependent, supporting each other. This comment, though hurtful, might be her way of expressing something she wants to tell me. Her feedback could come from a place of wanting to help, even if it wasn’t what I expected. I also need to reconnect and talk with her.”

But how to reconnect with her after our conflict?

Let’s ask ChatGPT

Firstly I asked ChatGPT about Non-violent communication, then we were on the same page for my upcoming prompt.

So, NVC is a. communication approach, designed to

• foster empathy

• understanding

• cooperative relationships

focusing on:

• clarity

• empathy

• respect

avoiding blame, criticism, and judgment.

Secondly, I described the event, my feelings, in the most honest way, as if I was confiding in a friend. 

I realized that my sister wanted to support me (she interacted on all my posts), just the comment at that time made me feel uncomfortable.

Analysis through the Lens of Non-violent Communication (NVC)

According to NVC, in the moment I calmed down, I shifted my perspective from “She caused me to feel this way” to “the moment the comment appeared, my frustration emerged”. This helped me understand that I was angry about the situation, not about her as a person. I took responsibility for caring my own emotions and reflecting on the situation, actively seeking dialogue instead of shutting down.

Are you a jackal or a giraffe?

In NVC, "Giraffe In" and "Giraffe Out" refer to compassionate thoughts and words, while "Wolf In" and "Wolf Out" refer to judgmental or critical thoughts and words.

Jackal

• In: When I questioned, "Is it because my post really was that bad?" I was engaging in self-criticism, blaming myself and turning inward, which reflects my insecurities.

• Out: "She dismissed my experience and attacked me; she’s not being supportive." This is where I was projecting judgment onto her, focusing on her actions and criticizing her instead of understanding her perspective.

Giraffe

• In: “I feel sad by the comment because I need the support from my family for my writing.”

• Out: “My sister wanted to support me, and I realize that she might not have thought much about how the comment would affect me at that moment.”

Through the lens of NVC, I understand that every word and action is an attempt to meet a certain need. In this case, it became clear that my sister's underlying need was to connect with me. However, the way she expressed that need didn't create an environment in which I felt comfortable or supported.

---

I’ve learned that, in conflicts like these, crafting the right prompt can be powerful. Instead of going in emotionally unfiltered, taking a step back to find the words that reflect both honesty and compassion can be transformative.

I’m inspired to keep exploring how NVC can help in day-to-day relationships, and I’ll share more of my journey as I go. For now, here’s to the power of stepping back, seeking help, and finding a path to communicate with kindness.

This article is part of the 30-day writing challenge by Writing On The Net.

#wotn7